cerita ini agak sedih. tapi jangan nangis dulu. ini hidup saya, and i'm okay with it.
sekitar 2,5 tahun yang lalu, saya masuk kuliah. saat itu saya baru diputusin sama mantan. desperate, kurus kering, masuk di kampus yang nggak saya ingini, what would be the best word to describe me? unlucky. hahaha. but who knows what will happen next? Allah. dan sayapun berusaha untuk menjalani hidup saya seperti ababil pada umumnya. galau, labil, insecure. tetapi ternyata Tuhan punya skenario mahalain buat saya. i met him. that handsome guy you have a crush on because they're just good looking. teman sekelas, seangkatan. lucu aja gitu. karena dia ganteng, mirip afgan. sumpah gak bohong. dan saya juga cuma iseng aja tanpa tendensi apa-apa, hello if you forget, saya kan baru diputusin.
tapi kayaknya saya punya kemampuan untuk membuat orang yang saya inginkan memahami dan terjerat dalam tidak-ada-pilihan-lain-selain-kamu. and when college just started in October, on his birthday, he ask me : would you be my wife? ehm, calon lebih tepatnya. -_- saat itu saya cuma "Tuhan punya rencana apalagi nih??" tapi ya saya terima juga sih, hahahaha. sembilan hari kemudian. YEAH NINE DAYS LATER!
he's so perfect that you can't ask for more than just him :')
he's so good looking, good hearted, he's so understanding and more than patient towards me. dia bener-bener kayak laki-laki dalam film drama romantis. menghujaniku dengan kado, perhatian, anything i want. berkebalikan banget sama hubungan sebelumnya -_- dia enggak pernah marah, dia cemburu dengan cara paling manis yang pernah saya tau. dan dia nggak suka pisah sama saya sebentarpun.
tapi memang harusnya saya curiga. adakah kisah cinta yang terlalu perfect gitu? and boom! tujuh bulan lalu dia sakit cukup parah. dont ask me why. and the second boom! he died a couple days ago :')
in this past seven months, i just barely meet him. we celebrate our 2nd anniversary while he laid on the bed because he's everywhere sick. but i still believe that i will be his bride, someday. i have faith. that he will be fine. that our plans will work. but actually, it didnt....
i'm so screwed. i feel like my heart being grabbed and never been there. oke lebay mungkin tapi rasanya memang seperti itu.
knowing that someone have gone so far away when you're really rely on him is like being dragged along bumpy road while you have no safety aid. i need sometimes to back to reality. to accept his death.
now that i have found my way, i gladly say goodbye to him. although i can't be his bride and he couldn't be my groom, i couldn't get married to him, but i'm grateful that i met him. thanks to him that i believe that i deserve to be loved. thanks to him that i grown up so much. and thanks to him that i could love my life so sincerely.
goodbye, uncometruegroom :') may you rest so well in there.
i love you, but i still have to move on dearie. so please don't be jealous :p
sekitar 2,5 tahun yang lalu, saya masuk kuliah. saat itu saya baru diputusin sama mantan. desperate, kurus kering, masuk di kampus yang nggak saya ingini, what would be the best word to describe me? unlucky. hahaha. but who knows what will happen next? Allah. dan sayapun berusaha untuk menjalani hidup saya seperti ababil pada umumnya. galau, labil, insecure. tetapi ternyata Tuhan punya skenario mahalain buat saya. i met him. that handsome guy you have a crush on because they're just good looking. teman sekelas, seangkatan. lucu aja gitu. karena dia ganteng, mirip afgan. sumpah gak bohong. dan saya juga cuma iseng aja tanpa tendensi apa-apa, hello if you forget, saya kan baru diputusin.
tapi kayaknya saya punya kemampuan untuk membuat orang yang saya inginkan memahami dan terjerat dalam tidak-ada-pilihan-lain-selain-kamu. and when college just started in October, on his birthday, he ask me : would you be my wife? ehm, calon lebih tepatnya. -_- saat itu saya cuma "Tuhan punya rencana apalagi nih??" tapi ya saya terima juga sih, hahahaha. sembilan hari kemudian. YEAH NINE DAYS LATER!
he's so perfect that you can't ask for more than just him :')
he's so good looking, good hearted, he's so understanding and more than patient towards me. dia bener-bener kayak laki-laki dalam film drama romantis. menghujaniku dengan kado, perhatian, anything i want. berkebalikan banget sama hubungan sebelumnya -_- dia enggak pernah marah, dia cemburu dengan cara paling manis yang pernah saya tau. dan dia nggak suka pisah sama saya sebentarpun.
tapi memang harusnya saya curiga. adakah kisah cinta yang terlalu perfect gitu? and boom! tujuh bulan lalu dia sakit cukup parah. dont ask me why. and the second boom! he died a couple days ago :')
in this past seven months, i just barely meet him. we celebrate our 2nd anniversary while he laid on the bed because he's everywhere sick. but i still believe that i will be his bride, someday. i have faith. that he will be fine. that our plans will work. but actually, it didnt....
i'm so screwed. i feel like my heart being grabbed and never been there. oke lebay mungkin tapi rasanya memang seperti itu.
knowing that someone have gone so far away when you're really rely on him is like being dragged along bumpy road while you have no safety aid. i need sometimes to back to reality. to accept his death.
now that i have found my way, i gladly say goodbye to him. although i can't be his bride and he couldn't be my groom, i couldn't get married to him, but i'm grateful that i met him. thanks to him that i believe that i deserve to be loved. thanks to him that i grown up so much. and thanks to him that i could love my life so sincerely.
goodbye, uncometruegroom :') may you rest so well in there.
i love you, but i still have to move on dearie. so please don't be jealous :p
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